1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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