Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It's official drugs can't kill me
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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