Umm I'm too high to move.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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