He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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