apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
