Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
