I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
