yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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