I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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