Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
