I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a dog bed..
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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