that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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