i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
