Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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