Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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