Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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