I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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