Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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