are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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