Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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