Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
