girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
