Rock
Scissors
Fuck
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
