I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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