Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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