I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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