I want to make a zoo with you.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
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He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
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When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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