A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
