the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
