I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
is that a dick in a sweater?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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