Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
