I am spending my child support on dildos
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
