we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
