One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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