Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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