she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
