if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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