Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
