well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
