this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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