And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
