We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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