I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
