smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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