so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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