He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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