Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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