therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
