Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
