I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
