Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
