Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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