So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
