I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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