so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
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I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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