Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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