I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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