His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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